


Best Friend Love (Cause That's How We Do)

by Mykea



Category: DCU, Justice League - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Batman Get A Fucking Clue, Bruce Is Really Tired of Clark's Shit, Bruce Needs a Hug, Bruce is just fucking done, Catwoman Ships SuperBat, Crushes, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I can, Jason is a Vampire., Joker is a flirt, M/M, Porn, Sex, Smut, This Is Based on Last of Us, Vampires, Zombies, because, but I still love him, everybody hates joker, for the fans, for the yaois, joker is joker, make them kiss, read for joker, references, they actually do it eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7812139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mykea/pseuds/Mykea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zombies. Freaking Zombies are attacking Gotham. Like that wasn't enough to get Bruce out of bed - who the fuck is that sleeping next to him? Well, time to get out the Kryptonite. Clark/Bruce, Dick/Jason. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Friend Love (Cause That's How We Do)

The warm light of Gotham city entered the Wayne Manor. For once, there was light in this dank, dark city, as unnecessarily it seemed always so gloomy. Bruce twitched in his sleep, not wanting to wake up from the warm blankets as it was Winter outside and the Egyptian Silk sheets were too tantalizingly enthralling.

Ha. The young billionaire huffed at himself mentally for being so poetic at such early hours. Yet, still he yawned, and stretched out catlike. He snuggled against the blankets, and couldn’t help but feel something else warm against him. It was hard as a freaking rock - and - and - yet! He couldn’t move away.

Tha-Thump. Tha-Thump. “Hmmm… Bruce…” Hmm…? He yawned again. Was that Clark’s voice just now? Tha-Thump, Tha-Thump that noise again as he got closer to a rather lumpy, hard surface and snuggled to it, hugging it even. Tha-Thump. Tha-Thump…

His eyes snapped open. People don’t normally hear their own heartbeats. And the only one capable of doing such was -

Oh shit.

He squirmed out of his position after screaming Clark’s name, waking the Man of Steel. He gave a firm kick to his stomach, too. “Ouch, oof. Bruce! What the -” He pretended to make it seem like it hurt. He was made of freaking steel! Bruce meanwhile fell onto the floor, grabbing his head, jerking about.

“My god, Clark, we - oh my god. Why? How. What did you DO?! What did we DO!” He was done throwing a temper tantrum as he just laid there on the carpeted floors of his bedroom. Why though? Why was Clark in his bedroom?! “Answers. Give them to me. Now.” He entered Batman mode.

He needed to be intimidating. He couldn’t be intimidated. Not around Clark, despite his crimson flush that plastered the expression ’god I fucked up’. Clark sighed. “You told me last night that I could stay here. We had a few glasses of wine, I guess I took advantage of the fact - “he paused. That dark, condescending glower from Bruce hit him right to the core. He shivered. “I mean, only by asking if I could sleep with you, Bruce. I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that. God. Why would you think that?!” He yelped trying to gain composure over the essential ‘rape’ claim

Bruce wrapped arms around himself, feeling very, very vulnerable. Clark’s eyes went wide. “Get dressed and leave, Clark.” He had taken a moment to eye the Kryptonian’s gaze but then when the room went silent he snapped back - “Now! Don’t make me lash out the Kryptonite.”

“Bruce.” He sighed. Another snarl. “I’m leaving, Ok. I get the message. But ask Alfred. I. Didn’t. Do. Anything. You’re my best friend -” He bit his lip and it began to quiver - getting out of bed, Bruce turned away. “I could never.”

Bruce sighed, standing up before Clark could help him. “Best friends don’t share a bed together, Clark, male female or otherwise.”

Clark sighed. It was impossible when Bruce was like this. It was true - Clark loved him. But as a friend. He couldn’t say that now or it would complicate things more. Can’t friends love each other? ‘ _Even if you’re an alien and a human_?’ He shook his head after getting dressed and exiting the door.

He X-Rayed Bruce’s Room to see him shifting in the sheets uncomfortably, his breathing uneven. Then, his heartbeat. Oh. His heartbeat. Just to know he was alive - yes. That’s all he wanted to hear right now… He didn’t want the Bat Vigilante to be mad at him, not in the slightest.

But, missions that have turned life threatening and that have lead Bruce and/or Clark in hospital beds have proved that Clark loves his best friend even more - so much he just wants to keep on hearing that heartbeat… It doesn’t mean that he’s gay, right? He - he just wants to make sure his friend is alright.

The farm boy groaned, then passed Alfred in the hallway who raised a brow in suspicion. “He thinks I raped him, Alfred. You trust me I wouldn’t ever lay a hand on him, right?” Right? Puppy dog eyes were ever helpful in situations like this.

But Alfred had raised Bruce like a son, so of course he was over protective. “Master Kent. I do trust you, and I’m aware of your feelings for Master Bruce. But I’m also aware of you ‘losing control’ of your abilities. Not to say that you have done such a thing last night. But Master Bruce isn’t very trusting in most people…” Alfred sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Not even I, in most recent years. Which I loath to be honest. I hate for you to take it personally - but - it’s how the boy is.”

A swallow, and a nod. “I’ll take your word, Alfred. I - I do love him. But, he’s my best friend. We’ve had so many close calls together on missions, and - I just want to make sure he’s OK. Alive. I know that he’s perfectly capable of defending himself -”

“In most situations?” Alfred added, another nod.

“Yeah. But, when we’re out there - I get worried. He’s going to die. Humans are so fragile. It’s amazing that he hasn’t gotten himself killed yet. I’m lucky I’m able to sense other’s heartbeats. I love that ability of mine…” He sighed. “Sorry for wasting your time.” He turned - trying not to look back.

To be honest, losing control of his powers could do far worse than rape him, which terrified Clark. It would be more on the lines of killing him, which had almost happened. And Alfred was aware of this, but Bruce knew that he was stubborn and he could make up any excuse in the book. So, without even paying Wayne Manor or Gotham once last look - he flew back to Metropolis.

Another day of work he had ahead of him, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

++

 _Three months had passed since then_. Batman met up with Superman every now and then at the Watchtower, and yet they barely said a thing about that night. The other teammates of the Justice League would begin to grow wary of the Bat’s awkward silences throughout long meetings with their Kryptonian leader. Yet, it seemed to had died down a lot during the fourth month when Batman returned to his city for patrolling.

“Nightwing, _Dick_. Do you copy?” Over the transmitter Batman tried calling his former Robin companion. He snarled when the response came late. Dick groaned, breathing heavily. Still, regardless of his current physical state – knowing that the boy was only human – Bruce didn’t accept any excuses for tardiness. Grayson knew this since he was eight years old, and it terrified him since. “Your late.”

Turning around he met Nightwing eye-to-eye. The man gulped. “Sorry, Bruce. Got caught up wrangling some guys – they had a hostage.” He got a raised brow from The Caped Crusader. “A pregnant woman, I managed to get her to the hospital in time. Baby’s alright, thank gods.” This was an excuse he didn’t make up – the crime in the city was almost at gang-war level. It was nuts.

Nightwing and Batman had been patrolling their best every night without almost no sleep, and the sheer thought even unborn children could be at risk here – made the Crusader’s very core turn to ice. With a huff, and a grunt he finally muttered “You alright? You’re still breathing hard.”

Dick chuckled, liking the sudden change in attitude and walking beside him seeing the view over Gotham’s nightfall. “Yeah. She kinda tried to kick me in the nuts. Then, when I held her to take her to the hospital she said she was having Braxton Hicks Contractions, so she nearly broke my hand. Could you believe a woman could be that strong?”

Bruce nodded. ‘ _Never underestimate the strength of a woman, Dick_.’ He remembered Barbara’s sheer will and determination throughout her recovery after Joker… He wouldn’t ever forget her aid as Batgirl to Batman. “Is the woman OK? What about the child?” He added once more.

An ‘hmmhmm’ from Dick as they prepared to glide off the building. “I asked the doctors, they said it was too early for her to go into Labor. She was only five months along. Braxton Hicks Contractions are only there to prepare you for labor. I then laughed and said thank god I’m not a woman.” Batman huffed. Without women there wouldn’t be men. But of course people don’t think about that on a daily basis, do they?

“Good work, let me know if there’s any other problems you need help with, Nightwing.” Before Dick could respond Batman was already gone, probably to find out where the source of all these attacks have been coming from.

Batman let himself glide throughout Gotham City. He felt the air and rain hit his face. The cold October air was refreshing on nights like these, but the pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away. The thought of it being a warzone out there frightened him. He knew Joker had made an announcement back earlier that year that ‘a storm would be upcoming’ – that’s why he’d been taking a break from The Justice League.

He called in Dick for help, but only wondered what it would be like if… He snarled. Ignoring that last though, getting down to street-level and finding a few hooligans trying to mug an innocent kid. He seemed to be about sixteen. Maybe a bit older, but still in no position to defend himself. Hiding behind the alleyway’s walls wasn’t really ingenious – but it still helped cloak him, somewhat.

He observed, and waited for an opening. He watched the kid struggled begging helplessly for his attackers to stop. He sighed strolling on over towards the brats. “Batman!” He heard the younger one say. “It’s Batman, you better stand down!” Still, the kids didn’t seem impressed. They seemed to be around Dick’s age or a bit older, still in their early twenties.

The kid he touched turned around and lunged at him. Three boys had been surrounding the sixteen-year-old. “Batman!” He cried. “Watch out – behind you!” There was another. The hell was this? He felt woozy as the other kids kept attacking him. He threw punches at them and finally was able to shake them off. He looked towards the younger one who was still cowering, now sitting on the ground and hands over his head.

A few punches, kicks and dodges later he managed to finally get into a proper fighting stance. If he would be dammed they looked like zombies or something from one of Dick’s horror video games. “What the fuck?” He yelled. “Kid – are you seeing this?”

“Yes! I am!” He cried. “They were like this before you got here! That guy bit his friend – and they started turning on each other.” Oh shit. Batman made sure that they didn’t get closer towards the boy but he didn’t know how to handle this – he didn’t want – “Superman?!”

 _Great, goody_. “Batman! Look out!” A few punches, kicks, and laser-eyes later, eventually they were down. _Blood_. Oh god. The _blood_. “Are you alright _Bru_ \- I mean Batman?” Batman snarled at Superman, he wanted to lash out his Kryptonite right now. But dammit, he felt woozy. “Bats?”

“Don’t do that again. That’s an order.”   
“You can’t order me. I’m the leader – “  
“Zip it, where’s the kid?”   
“What kid?”   
“The teenager!”

They heard whimpering, soft crying. Batman turned – ‘oh gods no’. He turned around and sighed. “He’s alive.” He walked over to the kid and bent down. “Hey. Are you OK? I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m not going to let that idiot do anything either. I’ve got Kryptonite.” He tried to smile but Superman just groaned. “Watch it, Supes. I’m warning you.”

“You have Kryptonite? Wow. How’d you get it?” The teenager finally got a closer look at Bruce – he was wearing glasses, but they were broken and his face was cut up from the shattered glass. He tried to keep them on though, the saying ‘blind as a bat’ was pretty ironic here.

“Long story. Now, can you answer a few questions for me?” The boy nodded. “You said those kids were biting each other and then turned into – er. That. Right?” The boy’s eyes winded. “Did you get bit?” The teen looked over his wounds. None seemed like a bite, but then he looked at the vigilante’s pant leg.

“Uh – Batman, your pants.” He noticed the crusader wobbling side to side. “Y-you got bit!”

Oh shit. Swore Bruce mentally as he hunched over, feeling like he was going to vomit. “Superman, I need you to collect samples of the victims, now.” He said victims like it was a dagger towards Clark, he didn’t want them to die. He wanted to save them – but he knew he couldn’t save everyone. Yet, these were kids… He groaned. “We need to get back to the Batcave and form an antidote.”

And get the kid someplace safe. He shivered, his body getting cold now. “But – _Bru_.” He paused, hearing a snarl that was still Batman-Like. “I – fine. Dammit! I’ll fly you there, first…” He approached the kid, who coward. “I’m not going to hurt you. Besides, Batman’s got Kryptonite, remember.” He tried to let out a chuckle but it was too dry, even for Superman’s standards.

He didn’t want to think about killing his best friend while he turned into one of those things.

++

Getting the boy to safety was least of their problems. That took less than a minute for Clark. Now, he was rushing Bruce to Wayne Manor as he jerked about with a sample of the Zombified boys’ blood secured safely in his utility belt. Clark felt his friend’s heartbeat grow from rapid and then slow. _What the hell was happening to him_?

He rushed into the Batcave, Alfred standing by. “An antidote should be ready in under thirty minutes, Master Kent.” He looked him in his worried, blue eyes – no puppy dog face needed to tell him ‘let me stay’. The Butler just outright said it “You should stay in case things go South.” Clark swallowed back tears and nodded. He saw Bruce toss and turn, his skin turning white – pale white. Not Joker white.

He looked so cold. Human invulnerability – how amazing it must feel. He gripped Bruce’s hand and shushed him. “Bruce. I’m here. I know you don’t want me to be – but – gods. As long as your still _alive_. I’m here. I always will be.” Alfred managed to get the antidote just in time and inject it into Bruce, but as he did so he trashed violently. Clark held him down, thanking his super-strength for this very moment.

He tried to calm him – paining thoughts were in his head knowing that Bruce was hurting and almost died for the _billionth time_. But, knowing his Batman Persona he couldn’t be stopped. Alfred checked the blood that was being issued via-IV and saw Clark sleeping in the chair, decided not to disturb him though. _Better than in the same bed_ , he mused.

_He let the Kyrptonian man sleep. It was the least he could do for saving the boy he raised._

 

++

It was Halloween Night in Gotham City. Bruce felt the frantic wind and rains hit his costume as he grits his teeth to get a view of the light that singled his plea for help; the Bat-Signal was designed by him and used frequently (a little too frequently) by Commissioner James Gordon. It had been a great help to the GCPD, but Bruce sometimes wondered if they were just sometimes lacking the pure intellect that was required to run a police force.

Commissioner Gordon was not a stupid man. He was brave, wise, and smart and that is why he was chosen Commissioner of the precinct, though Bruce sometimes wished he never designed the Bat-Signal as they used it a little too much. He wondered what would nights be like if he didn’t respond to calls – slept in and just took a night off and played it safe as Bruce Wayne. Well, he didn’t want to make Clark be too smug, now did he?

He knew Clark would be howling with laughter snuggled up with his fiancé in his rinky-dink, one-bedroom apartment. They had something going on for some time that couldn’t be called a commitment (then why get engaged to her Clark? Just why?) – yet it was a simple enough affair to be called a fringing romance. That was all. Lois Lane loved Superman, and maybe her suspicions on whom his real identity was after so long was coming to fruition. She was a reporter, and she did find out that Bruce Wayne was Batman.

She respected that, he respected her. They loved each other, and well… They never did get together after that. Lois said she couldn’t report Bruce’s identity to the public since she truly loved him, and Clark said she hadn’t been gossiping about Superman as much to the Daily Planet since their engagement. Maybe that was a sign. Maybe it’d be better if they got married, so Superman would be safe from public enemies… Or hell, who was he kidding. Clark would never be in any _real_ danger.

Because, really he was always in danger. Both him and Bruce. Their lives were like a comic book, or a sci-fi movie. They were always after danger and they did it on purpose. Maybe not intentionally for the first few years – but then – when that adrenaline kicked in after they met – they both finally realized it was just meant to be.

His gut clenched at the thought of romanticizing his life, to the point where he even thought of him and Kal-El’s relationship as destiny. It was like some stupid chick-flick that that would be a box-office failure that came out in summer, but he would never have any time to see it until Winter or later next year like in January. And then – Clark’s birth name. How he uses it so casually. How Clark lets him. How Bruce seems to be the only one that doesn’t get odd reactions when he uses it.

How it slurs off of Bruce’s tongue so naturally, as his Kryptonian accent seems to be getting better, or so Clark says. Though he really needs to continue their sessions. He stopped after the third one, as Clark’s voice while speaking his noble language was too awkward, not Clark-like. It wasn’t just that – but how Bruce would feel some odd connection like a bond between them strengthening each time Clark would tease him in his native tongue and let him figure it out and then he’d be like… Oh.

Yeah, that.

But enough of that, now he has work to do. Tonight is Halloween and he supposed since The Joker has broken out of Arkham (again) he was assuming the worst. Even worse than his Christmas-surprises. Commissioner Gordon has already armed the police department with the necessary tools while making them guard the streets, so far no dangerous activity as of yet… But, the night is still young.

Bruce represses a sigh and takes flight to the next building. He knows with The Joker out it can’t be anything good. He knows with Clown Prince – expect the unexpected. And right as that thought nearly came to a close – Bruce heard a loud explosion in the direction of abandoned warehouses… Right near Crime Alley. Goody.

Landing on the ground near the abandoned streets, people had mostly fled. Some stayed to catch action, some couldn’t. The danger still aches in their blood – like him. And The Joker… Nowhere in sight. Bruce grunts as he gets up, scanning the allies for possible victims. He sees none which is odd. Maybe the explosion was just a distraction… But for whom?

Then, Bruce hears a loud, painful shriek ring about the nighttime air. It pierces the howling winds and rain and right as he turns a horrified vision of a monster is right behind him. He didn’t know how the hell it got there but it’s about to attack a teenager who was just unlucky getting out of the allies – Bruce leaps into action but is a little too late as the creature bites him. No worries he’ll just – what?

The creature is thrown off as the teenager gets some sort of strange super-strength. Well that’s odd. It begins to make Bruce realize this wasn’t some ordinary monster, or perhaps that monster used to be _human_. His gut begins to clench as the child turns and his face becomes disfigured in all sorts of ways. Then – the mutated monster becomes rabid. It looks at Bruce. It’s silent for a moment. No clicking noises, no strange moans, just silence.

Bruce doesn’t move, he doesn’t even speak. He just manages to steady his breathing. A little hopeful part of him wonders if there’s a way to save these things. Revert them back to their human form – because fuck – this kid was a human a second ago. Batman’s oath is not to kill. But, this – what is this? As it charges towards him in a frantic, disgusting manner, falling its arms, Bruce runs. He dodges and doesn’t even let the beast near him.

He hasn’t a single idea what to expect. This was something he was totally unprepared for. If he could perhaps subdue the creature without killing it- Bruce thinks as he gets a Batarang out while behind an alley corner – maybe, it’ll give him some answers. But… Answers to what? He didn’t even know what to look for. Who did this? Why? What were they after? That was a way to start.

When Bruce threw his Batarang he visibly winced as it cut the creature’s arm clean off. Blood sprayed about the scene like a horror movie – and then – all of a sudden that disgusting clicking noise became unbearable. He realized that wasn’t an option. He felt a sickening feeling as the screams continued, could he really do this?

Suddenly, another scream came in, and the sound of a signature attack came from above. _Superman_. Bruce groaned. For once he was thankful Clark was able to take someone out for him. He swore to never kill and he meant it. But… This…

The creature smelled horrible enough to make him puke, and well, he did. As Clark’s cape fluttered and his face scrunched up at the sight of the disseminated corpse, he looked for Bruce - who then revealed himself flicking off his cowl and puking his guts off. Clark’s eyes widened, and he rushed over super-speed to help out his friend.

“You alright?” It wasn’t really a question he should ask… Considering… This thing that was in front of them right now. What the hell just happened? All he had known was he was flying around Gotham to see if Gordon needed back up, and heard the most horrified screams in his life, and then he saw something like of _The Shining_ play out in real life. “Bruce?” His voice was almost a whisper as he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, which moved to his back.

There wasn’t really a lot of moments like this, but he noticed Bruce’s eyes were purposefully avoiding the corpse. “It was human,” He began, shaking audibly and visibly. Yet, the remainder of Batman’s adrenaline managed to force him to stand up, and put his cowl back on. Clark’s eyes widened as he stared at it for another second, then back to Bruce. _Oh god_. “Thank you for rescuing me, Clark.”

 _I’m not you. I don’t have the power like you do_. _You’re braver than me_. It mulled over in his head like a broken record. Time and time again Clark had saved Bruce from situations like this. Situations where Bruce had been too scared to pull the trigger himself and cost dozens of lives to save only one. But – Clark had been supportive of Bruce’s skills and leadership.

Clark saves Bruce. Bruce is saved by Clark. That’s how their lives always play out. Bruce never saves Clark. Maybe a few times, when he’s penetrated with Kryptonite and can’t get it out himself, but it’s always by chance. Like… Like _destiny_ or some shit. The vigilante groaned, walking away. He really should take samples, but he decides to go against it and sees if there really is any need by investigating this… Case – this thing – any further.

“I came to Gotham to see if Gordon needed any backup,” _Because it’s Halloween. Because Joker is out of Arkham as well as many other villains and crime bosses may as well be starting a gang-war as we speak_. Bruce sighs. He doesn’t look at Clark, but he gives a curt nod before getting to the side of the building – preparing himself for lift off. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Bruce grits his teeth. _Just livid, Clark_. “I’m fine.” He says with yet another sigh – and Clark opens his mouth to say something – he’s not looking at the corpse – definitely not. Nor at Bruce. But when he turns back, he wants to say something.

“Oh and Bruce – “

But The Batman was already gone.

++

He didn’t want the Justice League’s help in this, nor did he need it. Clark had called several times within the past two weeks to ask he he did – but groaning childishly like he always did, so unBatmany, Bruce said ‘I’m fine’. Patrolling wasn’t hard, it was finding one of these Zombified residents is what made it hard – deciding whether or not to kill or save, strike or don’t strike. His morals were so confused.

As long as he had Dick and Alfred by his side that was what counted. “Nightwing, do you copy?” The radio static made him feel uneasy, these past two nights had been a fit smooth – the attacks were dying down but people were still afraid to come out at night. It was nearing Halloween and ‘normal’ people were pulling pranks more than usual, more extreme ones, that is. “Dick!?”

Hurrying back into the Batmobile he tried contacting Aflred. Another dead signal. Groaning he tried to forget the idea that he was tired – tried forget that he had almost been turned into a Zombie two weeks ago – he tried to forget. “Please, please be alive.” He rushed hadn’t the slightest idea as to what to do now, he sped through the streets of Gotham thinking he’d head back to the manor and check with Alfred.

Yeah, that’d work. “Alfred, come in, Alfred!” He tried the single again, no luck. When the Bat vigilante turned the corner he saw a limping figure in the distance. Skinny man, medium height. He shone his headlights on it to be none other than “Joker?” Cursing he hopped out rushing to the smaller man, catching him as he was about to fall over onto the car. ‘Just the man I needed to see.’ Jotted mentally.

He was laughing, still, of course that was his image. He was insane. (But was he? With the city the way it is now it could turn anyone upside down.) Sighing Batman placed Joker up against the headlights, shining through Joker’s frame. He got out his miniature flashlight and examined his eyes while he heard him talk on. “Hmmm… Bats… What brings you here…” He groaned jerking a bit. “Shit. Not again.”

Batman paused. Again? It was hard to tell if Joker had been bit – due to his already pale-white skin. “Joker. Where you bit?” An exasperated laugh came from the madman. Batman began messing with his utility belt. “I have an antidote, not much though.” Enough to work against you – though. He sighed. Would he really waste it on Joker?

The single came back. “Sir – terribly sorry. The storm is making it hard on our signals. I’ve located Nightwing. Where are you now?” Rushing to administer the antidote while talking to Alfred wasn’t easy. So he growled. “Sir…?”

“Joker got bit.” The Butler could hear mumbled nonsense and laughing in the background. Still, regardless of being turned into a Zombie or not, it was very Joker-like. “I’m looking for my antidote. Don’t tell me otherwise. That’s an order.”

“I – sir.” He heard a snarl. “ _Alright_. But you have to realize he’ll put up a struggle when you inject it into him. You did and Superman had to force you down.” He did? Why didn’t they tell him? “Be careful, sir.” The signal faded. Bruce noticed The Joker had quieted down and even started to drift off to sleep.

“Dammit, stay awake!” He jerked him a bit, finally finding the syringe of medicine, holding a flashlight to the right vein he didn’t bother, he just went for it and struck his arm. “Live…” He whispered, holding him down while the madman lay there motionless. “Live… Live!”

Joker began to jerk violently. He was groaning – in pain. Batman held him down – he couldn’t do anything else. “Take it, dammit. Don’t reject it, please. Please. Please!” He begged. He didn’t know why he was doing it though, people of Gotham would much be much better off with him dead. They wanted him dead, millions did. But he couldn’t let him die.

A gasp for air and then a laugh - his iconic laugh. He wanted to slap him – punch him – until the Joker grabbed his collar. “You idiot… You should’ve – “A gasp. “Left me there to die…” Tears formed in Batman’s eyes. “Don’t look at me like that, Bats.”

“I couldn’t. I – I – “

‘ _I got bit too and someone was there for me_.’ He sighed. “I was bit.” But before he could finish that Joker was already asleep in his arms. “Fucking hell.” He couldn’t leave him out there, Gotham was a warzone and he was another victim waiting to bit again. “Alfred,” he called. “I’m bringing Joker to the Batcave; have the cell prepared for him. That’s an order.”

++

He hated coffee. He made a mental note of this as the room he awoke in reeked of coffee grounds. When The Joker awoke finally, he saw a man dressed like a Bat-Monster holding a cup of coffee looking like he hadn’t slept in years. He laughed like the maniac the Caped Crusader knew he was. “Why hello Bats, good to see you again.” ‘Joker’ as everyone called him, jerked in his seat.

He was strapped down. Goody. He let out a snarly groan. “Hmmm. Smells disgusting. Coffee. You drink it black, I presume?” He didn’t like it either way, but the Bat just simply took a sip, expression unmoving. “Come on, any witty remark as to why you saved me? Oh – I didn’t want you to die – please, please take it!” He managed to move his hands freely and add some expression to his buoyant characteristics.

Expression was everything at times like this, but when he couldn’t, he laughed. ‘Ah what the hell, I’ll laugh anyway!’ “Batsy, baby. You don’t look too hot. Why don’t you rest. I’m sure Jeeves will appreciate it – “

“Shut up.” The Caped Crusader had a swag in his step and his cape fluttered with it. Joker licked his lips and noticed The Butler – whatever his name was. Couldn’t be bothered to remember it, was eyeing him carefully from the shadowy corners. “Alfred,” Ah, yes. Alfredo. That’s his name. “Keep an eye on him. I’m getting a bite to eat and then I’ll be back shortly.”

A groan of un-enthusiasm. “Yes sir.” The Butler didn’t like his high-paying job? Pity. Joker sighed. He was here. Why was he here? Why wasn’t he back in Arkham? Too many questions. Couldn’t bother to ask. Toying with The Batman was far better than just straight up asking. He smiled, when Alfredo noticed. “What are you smiling about?”

“None of your beeswax, old man.” He stuck his tongue out at the middle-aged man who shivered. Finally, the Bats was back. He noticed Jeeves sighing in relief.

‘ _Of course. They always do_.’ Rolling his eyes, he paid his attention to the fossilized version of his arch-nemesis. He placed down a thing of muffins and cookies. ‘ _Hmm I could have a bite of that_.’ He smirked. Noticing he was hungry and probably hadn’t eaten in days, as he was on the run. But the ‘bite of’ he was mentioning wasn’t really what he had in mind…

Batman turned around and his eyes went a little lower probably to what the vigilante would be comfortable with. “Alfred, your dismissed, thank you.” The old man didn’t hesitate to leave ASAP. When Batsy turned around he looked him cold, dead in the eyes – that condescending glare always got him hyped up. “What the hell are you looking at?”

“Hmm… Obviously not the plate of food, Sherlock.” He smiled and continued to ‘entertain’ the wanted man. “And you and I are the only ones in the room – so that leaves…” He stopped, he knew the Dark Knight hated when he did that, and laughed.

“Shut up, you freak.” Joker only continued to laugh harder.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like someone flirting with you? You’re very attractive you know.” He waggled his feet, getting blood going in them again so they wouldn’t fall asleep. He was getting excited. That always meant bad news for The Joker. “Don’t tell me you’re a virgin, Bats?”

“I’m not here to discuss my sex life with you. I’m here to talk about what’s happening to Gotham.” An exasperated ‘aguh!’ It sounded like he was dying.

“But that’s sooo _boring_. You always are _obsessed_ with this dammed city, Bats. What makes you want to stay?” He wasn’t… To terribly interested, but spiking some sort of conversation could stall things a bit more.

Batman snarled. “It’s my home. Its where I need to be. That answer your question?” He looked like he could play this game all night, so could Joker but when the Batman came closer to the clown he was almost skin-on-skin contact zone… “Now, what do you know about this Zombiefication nonsense?” He got so close –

Joker’s eyes went dark. He could just kiss him now.   
But what would be the fun in that?   
‘ _Play with him more. Make him dance_.’

“Nothing. Honest to the Bat Gods you worship B-Man. Nothing.” He rose his hands – what he could use of them – Joker laughed, forcing Batman to pull back. He groaned.

“I got bit.” He finally let out. “That’s why I need to know.”

An ‘oooh.’ Escaped Joker’s lips. “So now you suddenly care about the millions of lives at steak just because ‘you got bit’?” A pause, Batman didn’t know if he should let him continue, but he crossed his arms over his stomach in contemplation. “Tell me, Bats. Do you really think that’s poetic justice? Someone just letting it happen to themselves and then they take action because now they ‘understand’? Only those who ‘understand’ and can ‘connect’ with others actually are the only ones who can fucking HELP?” He laughed and threw his head back.

Then, with a scary glare – even for Joker… “Don’t make me laugh. Your no hero. You’re just a freak in a bat suite crying out for mommy and daddy seeking their approval. You don’t think I’ve been there? Wondering when the hell the world will wake up?” Batman was gearing to punch him, but paused – “I have.” He snarled and then let go. “You disgust me sometimes and yet my obsession for you never dies. I can’t understand it myself either.”

What was meant to be a mental curse actually slipped out into a whisper. He would slap himself repeatedly for it later. “Obsession?”

Joker laughed. Over and over, he laughed. “Yes! I understand – after years and years of the world raining hellfire upon itself, that I’m _insane_. Do you think I _like_ being reminded?” Batman didn’t dare wince. Neither did Joker. “But enough about me. Talk about you. This is seriously the most extensive therapy session since I’ve had in my first visit to the Asylum.” He curled his lips. “Go on, your turn, pretty boy.”

‘ _What the fuck do you think you’re doing_?’ Snarled Bruce Wayne. ‘ _Letting him go_.’ Snarled Batman, in his mind Bruce Wayne thought this was fucked up – but Batman barked back thinking that this was the right thing to do.

He thought.  
He couldn’t comprehend.   
But still – he’d hit himself as Bruce Wayne later.

“What are you doing?” Joker hissed, jerking in his seat.

As Bruce Wayne – “Letting you go.” It was feint, too feint where he hoped Joker couldn’t detect the desperateness in his voice. Then, the deepness of Batman returned. “Now I’ll escort you out, and keep an eye on you to make sure you won’t head back to the Asylum. But – never come back here. Understood?” He didn’t even snarl.

He was uncertain.   
And that _terrified_ him.   
_That terrified Batman._

“Don’t bother. Even if I do get back to that hellhole I don’t need Batman’s help. I’ve never needed anyone’s help. Not today, not tomorrow not ever.” The stone finally hit the pond in his stomach as he reached the door of the Wayne manor. “But don’t worry I won’t harm your little Jeeves’ pal or anyone precious to you, baby-cakes.”

The Joker’s laughter could be heard even after – Bruce Wayne – no. Batman – _agh_! Closed the door on his face finally when he walked away from the manor and Bruce disrobed his cowl he sat on the sofa, burying his face in his hands. “What the fuck did you do to me, Clark?”

++

Nightwing sighed. He couldn’t help but notice Batman’s aggravation these past few days. It was hard _not_ to notice with the growing crimes at night, and it being so close to Halloween. (The ‘holiday’ as kids called it being only a few short weeks away.) He extended down into the streets of Gotham just thirty minutes before sundown, trying to get a few more glimpses of the areas Batman told him to watch out for suspected activity – ever since the time he’d first got bitten.

Nightwing shivered. Zombification may be fun in video games, and the younger vigilante admitted he played a few of those a couple of years back, but not like this. The real thing was _terrifying_. ‘ _It’s easier in The Last of Us_.’ he mused thinking all those hours he spent chugging at night playing with Jason Todd, staying up late always annoyed Bruce.

He laughed though at the thought of Bruce trying to play games like _Silent Hill_ or _The Last of Us_. Hell, he could even try him on _Slenderman_ – it’d probably scare the crap out of Alfred or Clark. But who knows. When he heard the transmission come in his cynicism was brought to a halt.

“Come in, Nightwing. Dick, are you there?” He knew that there was still a few more hours of patrolling Dick had to do before he was officially said and done. The sun was dying down and he was just about to scale a few more buildings until –

“Yea. I’m – “Something hit him in the back of the head.

“Dick-  _Richard_!” The cries from the other line didn’t make it through. It was just Batman yelling, and then nothing else could be heard until Dick Grayson finally collapsed.

Batman snarled into the microphone, but really his main concern was Dick. He was scared. Which was bad – he didn’t get scared. He knew how serious this whole Zombie shit-storm was out there. He couldn’t imagine – ‘snap out of it Batman!’ He heard Bruce Wayne talking to him, shaking him back into focus.

He felt like he wanted to hit his head against the wall and cry. But now wasn’t the time. He had to get back to the manor and track down whoever could have a possible lead on Dick, and then figure out the rest. “Alfred, I’m coming home, Dick is in trouble.”

“Master Richard? Oh dear…” The Batmobile was just around the corner when two Zombiefied citizens jumped him. “Master Bruce! Are you alright? Your heartbeat – “The signal was cut off. Why, why did it always do that?

Bruce kicked and punched as much as he could. He cursed and prayed at the same time ‘ _Don’t get bit again, please. I don’t have time_.’ He took out his Batarang – the sharpest object he could think of and pierced it through one of the victim’s throats. He shivered. He didn’t like this at all.

He fumbled to his knees and began to vomit. ‘ _I – I didn’t get bit… Did I_?’ He felt his body for any cuts or scrapes or – bites. He didn’t. Thank gods. He felt wrong. Every part of him felt like his personal morals have been violated. But he had to – he _had_ to. He clutched his head and cried for a minute, sobbing softly. “What the hell is this? Some kind of sick joke?”

He instantly thought of The Joker, and how he was bit. Then he had remembered this – “Not again…” Batman’s eyes went wide as another batch of vile breeched from his stomach. After another five minutes of vomiting and emptying his stomach contents – the smell – _oh gods the smell_ … He managed to sit up.

“Joker knows something,” He murmured to himself. He’d been bit before that night, he had to have been or else why would he have said ‘not again’? There must be more antidotes than this. Finally, Batman managed to get to the Batmobile “Alfred, do you copy?” The signal was static-like but after thirty seconds he came back online. “I think someone’s watching me during these assaults.”

Someone was planning on sending out Zombiefied victims to distract Batman from figuring out what’s really going on. Now, they have Dick and are planning on doing something terrible to him. He snarled. “But they won’t have the edge for long.” He huffed as he climbed into the car. “I also need to find The Joker again. He still knows something.”

Finally, Alfred added to the conversation. “Master Bruce, Master Kent – er. _Superman_ wishes to speak to you…” A grunt. Typical timing.

“Bruce. I know you probably don’t want to hear me right now – but I want to help you look for Nightwing. Please. _Please_ I know I screwed up that one time – “A pause. He gulped. “But let me make it up to you.”

A hiss, was Bruce in pain? Did he need help? He could hear the rumbling of the Batmobile in the background – it was powerful. “Fine. But on the terms you follow my orders. This is my city you listen to me. Understand?”

“Understood.”

“And Clark.”   
“Yeah, Bruce?”

A snarl so sinister was let out from the Caped Crusader it felt like a punch from Mr. Freeze. “Never mention that night again or I will lash out Kryptonite against you. I mean it.” Clark didn’t even need to say anything to that. He was almost to Gotham when Bruce hung up.

++

When Dick was coming too, he could’ve sworn he smelt garlic being cooked. There was so much in the air he felt like he was going to puke. He groaned – tossing and turning about. The ropes at his writs were tied so tightly he couldn’t help but hiss at the burning sensation that worsened each time he struggled.

“Well well Dickie Bird. I never thought you’d wake. I’ve been waiting almost two hours, bout damn time.” ‘ _That voice’_ _–_ Dick’s eyes shot open and came face to face with his captor. _It can’t be_. “Surprised to see me in the flesh, living and breathing?”

 _No_ … “Y- You’re supposed to be dead.” He gulped, swallowing down hard, burning vile from heartburn. Sitting like this was always a bitch on his stomach, that and the stench of garlic – so much – _why so much_? hurt his sinuses.  ‘ _The Joker killed you years ago_.’ And yet, here and the flesh stood Jason Todd – he was perfect. Absolutely gorgeous. The boy he once knew and loved all those years ago until he let himself get recklessly killed by the madman – “Why? Why are you here?”

Jason chuckled, a gun on his belt and other things attached, probably for defense (or for killing). He saw it was a dark color – not yellow like the utility belt at all. He didn’t want to rip off Batman’s belt style whatsoever. He hated Batman always. He’d complain to Dick for not backing him up in arguments against Bruce – actually joining in on picking on him – or so he called it.

And yet, here he was… A grown ass man. He looked to be about nineteen or twenty-one. Beautifully muscular and groomed, not like the boy he was years ago when he died at all. “J-Jay. Tell me what’s going on.” He tried to hold back the tears. The erection wasn’t helping either. Jason probably noticed both. He had a keen sense about that – far greater than Bruce’s (far more inappropriate as Alfred liked to call it).

The hand that was originally by his right side where the gun lay near went down. It relaxed. But Dick was still tense. Never a dull moment in the life of Jason Todd – he had to keep remembering the trauma Joker must have caused… The pain… Oh, and never let you guard down – a note from Bruce to never flinch in front of an enemy.

But with Jason…  
The Relationship they had it was so damn hard.

He should’ve done something. He should’ve cared more as an older brother – ‘ _Note to self Dick, don’t sleep with teenagers_.’ He sighed as Jason geared towards Dick – leaning in. His cock riding the older mans. They were dressed, but Dick didn’t expect that be lasting for very much longer – and he wondered how long Jason’s dead-self had waited for a moment like this to happen.

 _‘Jason. While you were dead what did you feel? What did you dream_?’ He closed his eyes and let Jason ram his mouth into Dick’s. The feeling was so hard it was almost painful, like it could break skin. Yet, Dick didn’t groan or make any sort of sounds. He never let Jason ride him from the top.

As much as he wanted to interrogate Jason via-Nightwing mode right now, he laughed as the younger man pulled out. “You taste like shit. Why do you reek of garlic, Jay?” When he opened his eyes to get a good look of the man he used to call brother – had a maniacal smirk on his face, he opened his teeth to show unusually sharp canines. “What?”

He wasn’t acting unordinary or anything – then again Jason hadn’t said much at all when Dick woke up. “What’s that?” He heard Jason laugh, it was usual for him. Note: Usual for Jason Todd, which is pretty fucked up. A pit formed in Dick’s stomach.

“Dickie Bird. I’m not even human anymore. Did you notice how there’s a lot of suspicious activity going on in Gotham at nigh nowadays?” Dick’s eyes widened until he noticed Jason’s eyes began to shine a crimson red. “Bingo…” Holy shit…

“Holy shit, Jay – are you _involved_ with _them_?” A smack upside Dick’s head. “Ouch!” What was that for?” A frown took over Jason’s expression, he seemed frustrated and disappointed.

“Fuck no Sherlock!” He relaxed and sat on Dick’s lap. “I’m not in any way affiliated with those weirdo Zombie dudes! I’m a Vampire. I was brought back from Ra Al Ghul. He made a deal with me for immortality.” He huffed crossing his arms looking like someone had just insulted him in the worst way ever.

“Th-The League of Assassins Guy? How could he turn you into a vampire?”

“I don’t know! He just did. He contacted me through his freaky foreign magic shit and asked me if I wanted a second chance. I said yes, but I didn’t know if I was gonna become a freak like this. When I found out I could actually walk about in the daylight I thought things wouldn’t be that bad… But…” He turned towards the garlic, Dick felt like he wanted to cover his nose.

“It’s actually an old wives tale that Garlic is what kills vampires. Kids just think that to be pissers to the real thing. Who knew? I love garlic more than ever. Sorry bout the smell. But I can eat people now, turns out that those Zombies actually are a ticket for a free meal…” He eyed Dick again – this wasn’t settling well with him. “Sorry man.”

He began to untie his former brother, lover and roommate. “I know this is all freaky. I just am getting used to it. But when I saw you – I panicked no way was I gonna let you become one of those Zombie Freaks. Also I was hungry. I didn’t want to suddenly turn on you and eat you instead of them.” Coming back to the real world, sitting upright, he took Jason’s hand.

“Well I appreciate that much thought. What do yo mean turn on me, though?” He rubbed his stomach when he got a chance, the talk about blood and guts was making him queasy.

Jason went back to his stir fry. “When I see a corpse with too much blood – or smell a lot of blood which it’s creepy as fuck man. My senses have been like, better than dog’s. It’s weird. Anyway, I can smell it and I sorta get a little crazy.” He begins munching away on noodles it did look good, but way too much garlic. “I think garlic is a way to pacify my powers or just get my appetite back to normal – if I eat a lot of it. And I mean, a LOT of it.”

Dick waved his hands and shook his head. “You mean crazier than normal Jason Todd crazy?” Jason laughed and shrugged. “Or Joker Cra- “A suddenly, his eyes glistened back to its usual color and he noticed something about Jason change.

The mood became depressing. Like… He couldn’t really tell what – but Jason showed his venerable side. “Okay. I get it. You lose control of your powers and you turn on people when you don’t mean to. And, pacify your powers? Since when did you become a walking thesaurus?”

Jason snarled very Batman-like and flicked a fried tomato into Jason’s face. He yelped. “Not always. But I want this to be like – I don’t know as fucking normal as possible? This shit isn’t nor- “

“Don’t you even dare go there, Jay. Since when has The Bat Clan been ‘normal’?” He crossed his arms, very Bruce like when he was scolding, very Clark like… Whom he was seeing more of nowadays.

“Ever since Bruce took us in I think he even silently gave us a lecture on ‘ _I don’t ever expect any of you to get out of this sane’_.” Jason, still moping he shrugged his shoulders. Dick still wiped off the sauce with his glove. “You know I’m right – as much of an asshole as he was.”

“So now your admitting it?”

“Yes and no. He was always an asshole, I got frustrated with him then too, Jason. But I knew what you were doing was wild and crazy and we needed to be safe – on patrol and saving people’s lives regardless of Bruce being our boss. And now – I need your help tracking down these Zombie dudes…” He sighed.

“It’s like Silent Hill just, in real life, how hard can it be?” Being more nonchalant he gave his brother another moment to calmly think about it, until he put his plate down with a slight ‘thud’.

“You never came that day.” This was inevitable. “Dick – you weren’t there. If you were with Bruce patrolling that day – maybe…”

Wrapped his arms around himself. His body temperature had lowered thanks to this new revival process. He didn’t feel the same as before, when darkness fell he’d look at himself in the mirror and his eyes would turn red. He’d still been figuring out his powers thanks to this stupid shit.

“Why weren’t you there?” Another breathless cry for help – he wanted to forget but he couldn’t. “Why?” Tears formed in the vampire boy’s eyes. He looked at his brother for help and guidance this last time.

Dick coughed out a sob. Not the reaction he’d expected from Nightwing. “I’m sorry. I was in another city at the time going over training regiments with the Teen Titans.”

“Fuck them.” They were crying in each other’s arms. Making ‘hmmhmm’ noises while Jason felt Dick rub his arms for warmth. Never had he felt so warm before – not since he came back to life. “Fuck Bruce too. I just want you.”

“Bruce hasn’t been letting me do anything since this whole Zombie shit started. Not a single thing. But…” He didn’t look up yet, he still rubbed Jason’s back for more comfort. Feeling tear’s fall on the younger man’s clothes. “Maybe you and I could investigate further. You can go out in the daylight and not shine like a sparkly douchebag right?”

Jason pushed Dick away and buried his forehead into the taller ones. “I don’t know about the Douchebag part, but no. I won’t sparkle. The thing is, Daylight affects my energy and makes me tired. I’m strongest at night. Ha. I really am Bruce’s kid… Even if I don’t like it.”

They kissed. This time, passionately.   
It was so real.

This whole thing was real. ‘ _Jason’s real. He’s alive. He – he’s breathing – sort of_.’ A mental chuckle from Nightwing at that. ‘God. This is insane. I I hope I can’t ever wake up from this…’

They released, and then it hit Dick. Not the erection that had been happening since he’d gotten there. But – another thing. “When you were dead, where did you go?” He felt stupid asking that, but he wanted to know if there was a heaven or a hell.

“You curious to know if I went to hell or not, Dickie?”  
“Possibly. More on the idea if you dreamed at all…”  
Jason raised a brow at this. “Why this all of a sudden?”   
Dick sighed still rubbing his face into Jason’s neck, trying not to sound so muffled. “Do you have nightmares, Jay?”

A sigh. He held Dick tighter. “Yes. Every night since I woke up.”

“So did you dream when you… Were… Dead? What’s it like?”

They pulled away. Jason looked at Dick with crimson eyes. A chill went down his spine – he seriously was going to have to get used to that. “Will you be surprised if I told you I’m dead right now?”

….. “What? No way I – “

“I’m not a Zombie, Richard. I’m a vampire. I’m a walking dead man. No pun intended. But Ras gave me a second chance…” He saw the gape of Dick’s mouth widen, it was rather humorous but Jason still didn’t laugh.

“Wait. So your – an illusion or what?”

“No. I’m real. I’m not a figment of your imagination. But feel my chest.” A hand was placed to his chest. “Now wait a minute. Take a deep breath and – calm the fuck down…!” Dick winced and looked into Jason’s eyes. “Good, Dickie Bird. Still haven’t lost your senses yet? This ain’t a dream. Cause…”

“Holy shit.” No heartbeat.   
“Holy shit. Holy shit.”

“Yups. I’m dead. But I’m alive. I’m a living corpse.”

“Oh my god… Jay…”

He pulled away from Jason and tried to regain composure. Jason was alive, but he wasn’t. _That’s why he felt so cold when they hugged_. “So I guess literally I can say ‘the second death of me’ puns. It’d be depressing but appropriate.”

“But you wouldn’t have another chance after that. You’d be really, really truly gone.”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t want you to leave. Not tonight.” Resisting the urge to hug Dick again as he knew he wasn’t in a good mental state right now – but he was fine a minute ago – he sighed. “But if you want to – I have your bike out back.”

Dick sighed. “You have to talk to Bruce eventually…. Not now, but you know- “

Jason glared, his crimson eyes unjust. “And why do I need to do that? You said you wanted my help to take down whoever is turning Gotham into Zombie Freaks! Now you want to turn me into the Justice League? Is that it?!”

Dick felt a strange aura emitting around them – it was threatening… It was… Scary. Even for Jay. “No – I – I said eventually! Look. I don’t want to do anything tonight. I’ll stay. But fuck Jason, what if there’s someone in the League that can help you with your powers?”

Jason clutched his fists, still angry. “But there’s not an undead vampire! I don’t need them! I need YOU! And you just came back and you still want to work for THEM!” He grabbed at his hair, ruffling it. “Fuck – I shouldn’t of ever- “An embrace. “Dick- “

“Shhh. Calm down.” He breathed suddenly, wondering what else could have happened if Jason lost further control. “I’ll stay. I’m not going to tell Bruce or the League. It was just a consideration alright? I’d never do anything without your consent? No need to be a drama king.”

He managed a laugh until a few sniffles could be heard in the nape of his neck. “Gods. I love you, Dickie Bird.” They kissed. “And I can tell your really hard right now. So am I – I haven’t been hard like this in so long.”

“Wanna go at it tonight? I’ll let you ride me.”

Back to their original color, Jason’s eyes shone like the stars and the moon. “R-Really?” He was like an adorable puppy. “You’ll really let me?” It was so stupidly cute. Dick laughed.

“Yes. Now hurry up before I change my mind. You’re being stupidly cute and that’s cramping my style.” He Jason on the cheek – who was flushing a crimson scarlet. “Got any lube?”

“Yeah, hang on. And don’t call me cute!”

“You’ll be called cute if you get to ride me. I’m tired as fuck. By the way, Jay. How’s your sleeping schedule been like since this whole bullshit started?” From the back and rattling Jason shouted over Dick as he began to undress, shoes first, then shirt and then pants. He noticed his NightWing mask had been thrown in the corner of the one-bedroom apartment somewhere.

Magically they’d maneuvered their way into the bedroom like a scene from a cartoon. But Dick didn’t care – he was exhausted and horny as hell, a good fuck will do him some good. “It’s been shit. I’ll tell you. Sometimes I feel tired during the day and then wide awake at night like I drank ten cups of coffee beforehand. I hate it! Oh – I found it!”

Dick laughed. “You’ll be okay during this though, right?” He saw an undressed Jason come into the bedroom. “And you can sleep with me after? I can leave in the morning… Y’know… Bruce… But I’ll be back.” He saw Jason sitting the lube down and a kiss to the lips interrupted him. A groan feeling his penis go hard against his belly. “Dammit, listen to me…”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll sleep with you. And you can leave before I wake up.” Jason pressed a hand against Dick’s belly and messaged near his bellybutton where his penis was nearing. “You like that Dickie Bird?” The older man groaned. “Come on, Lube up. I’m tired of waiting. I already did the minute I found it.” A kiss on the cheek was all they needed to confirm it.

Dick did as he was told. He grunted as he felt Jason literally land smack-down onto his lap. He made an ‘oof’ sot of noise. The sensation of them joining together sort of hurt. “Easy kid, easy…” He hadn’t done this with another guy in a while.   
  
“Last time I did this was a bout a year ago.” He let Jason place a hand on his upper belly, soft and yet firm so he wouldn’t get a cramp – rubbing it slightly while the former Robin leaned in for a kiss. “I’mma bit out of style…” He said while he released.

“No. Your so lying old man. You probably fucked with Bruce millions of times like I did.” He flushed feeling Jason rub his erection. “And Bab’s, and god knows how many girls you picked up at nightclubs…”

Another kiss. “Keep it up and I’mma flip you to the bottom. You little freak.” A snarl in disapproval. They kissed a bit more until Jason gave him a few playful nips at Dick’s ears and face. A few hickies, and finally Jason was belly-to-belly with Nightwing. “You know,” While looking at each other eye to eye. “I think Bruce has a thing for Clark.”

Pushing up suddenly – feeling themselves let go – Dick yelped. “Fuck – Jason!”

“Sorry – but do you mean thee Clark Kent? AKA Superman?!”

“Fucking Hell Jason, too fast!” He felt tears form in his eyes at their penises tearing. He didn’t feel any blood form down there but it burned like shit – “Fuck fuck”

“Sorry!” He leaned back in, letting himself cum. “Cum for me, Dick. It’ll feel better.” He kissed his temple. “Feel good?” Jason laughed. “It’s not every day that I hear my adoptive father is dating the Man of Steel.”

“It was only an assumption, Jay! No need to tear my insides apart while we’re fucking!”

“Ooh kinky. Catty also. Speaking of which – what happened to Catwoman. Didn’t Bruce have a major crush on her?”

If Dick could reach his face right now – he would so be face-palming. But, shoving his penis harder into Dick’s to make a comeback for earlier is just as well justified. God, he’d so feel this tomorrow.   
  
“Yes and no. They never did anything and Selina Kyle – AKA Catwoman” He heard an ‘hmmmm’ from Jason as Dick shoved harder into him. God what did it take to get a little pain into this guy? ‘ _Pay back, baby, payback’_ He remembered the Joker’s words from a few nights ago while out on patrol the man looking a little paler than usual – he shuddered his spine feeling unusually cold.   
  
“A-Anyway.” He choked out “It didn’t work out between them. Selina made a few comments about Bruce and her being together over to Vickie Vale. And you probably know what happened next…”

They released, cum on the sheets. Both panting and sweaty. Dick’s hair a tangled mess. Jason laughing like a maniac. At least this time it was a fun one that would be great at parties. Dick chuckled too. They kissed.   
  
“I do, probably. Hey, I was Robin once too? Remember? But I’m still interested. Tell me more about how Bruce and Clark fucking while we warp this up, Dickie Bird.” He kissed his cheek and as if someone wiping a smudge of something off his cheek – Dick made a face.

“So a few months passed after Bruce had kindly told Ms. Kyle to fuck off.” A wolf whistle came from Jason as he shoved harder – Dick laughed – he was so impressed with this man, sex was amazing, exhilarating. He couldn’t understand how the man managed to keep a conversation going – it must be a part of his vampire powers (talking while having sex and being damn good at it!)

“Wish I could’ve been there. Did you read the articles?”

“I don’t pay attention to that shit, Jay. Bruce would kindly tell me to ‘fuck off’. You know that.”

Dick followed this with a kiss to Jason’s cheek, then his lips. The nuzzled, and Dick continued his conversation while they sat there, still inside each other. “So you know, Clark, Superman, Batman, Bruce. Missions, Justice Leauge. Yadayada. A few months later. Then, there was actually a break into Cadamus…” Jason was lying on top of Dick now. Making patterns into his chest like he was figuring out a map of some sort.

“Cadamus? What’s that?”

“We don’t know yet. But The Young Justice broke into it – before you say anything…” Dick grunted as he shifted a bit causing Jason to lose his balance, he gripped Dick’s sides and chuckled. “It’s like Teen Titans. But different. Teen Titans aren’t obsolete, they’re just kinda going under renovations. I’m observing them…” He kissed Jason who rolled his eyes.

“Couldn’t care less. So they broke into Cadamus and what did they find?”

“A clone of Superman. Do NOT- “He felt Jason shift but he grabbed his wrist. “Here. We’re done. I’ll tell you the rest of the story but goddammit Jason if you tear from me again like that. I swear so help me god.” Tears were forming in his eyes. What was this? Jason had no sense of pain now. “Easy, easy.” He and Jason released slowly – slowly from each other.

His belly was filled with cum, he was groaning from nausea. He noticed he looked a bit bloated and rubbed his lower stomach-area. “Are you OK? Maybe we did too much…” A kiss on the nape of Dick’s neck. “Then again we are The Bat Clan…”

What’s normal? Was what he was meaning. What’s ‘too much’. Was their motto. Expect the unexpected. “Let’s just hope I can’t knock you up or anything,” A joking tone and a punch from Dick. “Ow.” He laughed. “Sorry, my sense of pain has kinda well… Become obsolete.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before we decided to fuck for almost a half-hour straight?”

Jason shrugged. “Sorry. Continue with the story? Here, come er’.” He pulled Dick into his arms and put his hands onto his belly which really – really hurt. It was swollen, and his erection had been hitting it hard. “You’re such a wuss.” He kissed his temple.” “So, Superman has a clone now?”

“Yes. With Lex Luthor. The conniving evil son of a bitch of LuthorCorp. His arch-enemy.”   
“And I thought I was in a fucked up situation.” Jason shrugged, snuggling with his brother some more.

Dick had stopped rubbing his belly and eventually just sat hunched over in Jason’s arms. The younger was rubbing his shoulders. He was thankful that the man was such a romantic in times like this. _They were Bats after all_. “His name is now Conner Kent. J’onn recommend Kent and Megann Martian – J’onn’s niece recommended Conner.”

“Whoa! J’onn has a niece? How hot is she?”   
“Sixteen dude. I’m off-limits to teens now.”   
“Still,”  
“Jay…”   
“1-10 scale.”

Dick sighed and rubbed his neck. “She has green skin but can transform to look like a regular human so – I’d say a 7 or 8?”

“Eh. Not bad. I’d say you’re an 8 to a 9.”

Another kiss. Dick felt Jason clamp his butt in the process. “What? I’m not good enough for a ten? I’m Richard Fucking Grayson!” Leaning back and grabbing Jason’s ass – both of them touching their butts they laughed. “In that case you only get a 6.”

“What? Why?! Who else could be hotter than ME!”

“Dude. Fangs for one thing and the first impression of garlic was a total drawback. Not to mention you’re a pyscho sometimes…” He sighed then as his arm went lower to Jason’s waist he kissed his ear. “But your MY pyscho.”

“Dude that’s so fucking cheesy. But, really, you really mean it?”

“Fuck yes man. That was the best damn sex I’ve ever had in my entire life. I love you Jay. I always have. I thought I should have stayed away because I was a brother – but fuck labels.” He sighed looking out the window noticing the moonlight shining brightly. “And I don’t care if you have fangs, that was a joke but all this was a little much to take in, you being dead and suddenly alive…”

“I know.” Jason stood up stretching a bit. So catlike – a smile appeared on Dick’s face. “Dude. We can make this work. We can catch those guys whoever they are and kick their asses…” But suddenly, he grabbed his arm and looked out the window… “And – “

“The Joker?”

He saw Jason’s eyes go red again in the distance. A scary sort of tint. “We’ll catch him and kill him this time. I promise. I won’t let Bruce get in the way of that.” After Dick stood up he had come over to Jason and embrace him. It was so odd; it was like Jay was in some sort of moonlight’s trance. Staring at the moon was… Hypnotizing for him.

“You mean it?” Smelling Dick’s scent was comforting right now. He liked these heightened senses for once. “You really do mean it Dick? You’re going to help me ki- “

“Yes. I don’t care what Bruce says about his morals or whatever the fuck he thinks about killing others. He hurt you Jay,” Suddenly, Dick was cupping Jason’s face and saw him shine as the light bled into the apartment. “I’m not letting that happen ever again.”

“I’m not going to hurt you either.” He breathed onto Dick – feeling the need to kiss him… Instead their foreheads met. “I’m not letting you get your heartbroken again like that time.”

“Hey, cut the romantics. That isn’t you.” Kissing him again he heard his Jaybird laugh. “Can you eat something other than garlic-induced stir fry and human corpses?”

Jason nodded letting Dick go. “I found out, after I eat well, someone. I can’t really straighten out my appetite unless I eat loads of garlic. So I eat garlic for like a whole day straight. It sucks, but I have to do it. I don’t have an angry rampage unless like, the minute I start eating something or drinking someone’s blood.” He’s not looking at Dick now – they’ve moved into the kitchen. “I can eat human food after a week of my rampage has died down. I saw you patrolling Gotham and I had just well, eaten someone…” He sighed. Shaking his head.

“I wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible. I didn’t want to end up hurting you. It’s shit when my appetite is messed up. I usually lock myself inside unless its nighttime and I can – you know.” He looked into his fridge and noticed he had some sodas left that weren’t flat.

“Want one? I have cola, grape and/or orange.” He got himself an orange and with a sizzling noise that was so familiar and yet so lost – like he didn’t want it to be gone ever again… He smiled as he sipped on his fruit-flavored drunk. “It’s not flat, don’t worry. I bought this yesterday.”

“I’ll have grape. And bought? Where do you get the money?”  He caught the soda, tapping on the top to make sure an explosion didn’t occur.

“I uh. I’m a mercenary. Typically for Common Gangsters or the Mafia. I don’t like doing it but so far no one has detected I’m a vampire.” He sat on a barstool that was located across from Dick. He tried not to eye them.

“That’s convenient. What do you eat the people you dislike the most?”

A dry chuckle. A nervous one. “I don’t like this, I really don’t. I don’t have any other choice – Dick!” He was clutching his hands hard – nervously, he felt the soda can crumble in his grip. Fizz from the top began to erupt from it. “Oh shit!”

“I’ll get a paper towel.” He got some from the pantry located behind him.  “And I’m not trying to be a jackass or anything. So calm down. I just want to get the whole picture here, okay?” Jason nodded as he saw Dick wiping up yet again one of his messes. (Ha.)

“When did you come back – like – actually come back?”

“About two – maybe three months ago. I think starting this month it’s going to be three months.”

“So October First would be three months.” “hmmhmm” was heard from Jason as he went to go throw out his soda can. “I can’t stay with you all the time. As suckish as that sounds I have to go back to Bruce…” He heard a noise in disappointment from Jason, Dick sighed. “But I’ll come by every day if I can. I’ll try to investigate with you at night as well. But lately Bruce has been giving me a hard time about patrolling with him in Gotham.”

“Zombies, I know. He’s probably looking for you right now.”

“Oh god. Let’s hope that the Batman S. W. A. T Squad doesn’t barge in when we’re fucking one night.” They both started bursting into giggles and then they kiss. “I love you, Jason Todd. You know that?”

“Yeah I am pretty awesome. I love you too, my little Dickie Bird.” He nuzzled into Dick’s face. “But you know something incredible about this entire thing – this night?”

He hummed. “What Jaybird?”

“We’re still naked.”

Dick didn’t even need to look down. He grabbed Jason’s shoulders and from across the counter pulled him in for another kiss. “This time I’m on top, got it kiddo?” No words needed to be said as long as they had each other.

++

Meanwhile in Arkham City.

“Clark. Why the fuck are we in Arkham City? How did we get to Arkham City when we’re supposed to be looking for Nightwing?”

“He could be anywhere Bruce. You know that – what happened to Jason – “

“Don’t mention him.”

Clark sighed, noting the Batsignal was up even when they had left Gotham but Bruce had refused to respond to it – he said it could wait but Clark disagreed and offered to look for Nightwing himself – _if only Bruce still trusted him_.

But wherever Dick was right now, he hoped he was having a better time than he was.

++

Arkham City.   
Why was he here again?

Batman sighed. He made swift movements through the muddy puddles that littered the city streets and kicked cans along the way, he wasn’t in the mood for this. Not tonight. As much as he wanted to find Nightwing, he still could do it without Superman by his side. As Batman he was supposed to be a loner – as Bruce Wayne he was supposed to be a playboy bachelor. One of Gotham City’s top-rated.

He didn’t know why he got butterflies in his stomach whenever he was around the fucking Man of Steel, every damn time. Batman groaned as he observed the city from the top of a building not paying attention to Superman landing behind him, his cape making noise as it blew in the wind. “I can handle this by myself, you don’t need to be here.” He let it out venomously.

Bruce wanted Clark to leave. Now.

“I thought you wanted to go back to Gotham.”

That was true – but. He just wanted to be alone. Period. “I don’t want you here.” He looked through his binoculars and tried to see any signs of Nightwing, or just any criminal activity he could stop while here. Make this trip worth-while. “You can go back to Metropolis, I’m sure Lois needs you for something, Kent.”

Clark groaned. This wasn’t good. Why did Bruce always think about Lois when they were out patrolling together? The last time he and Lois went out on a date was a Christmas Party two years ago. They didn’t even get along. “We’re not together anymore, Bruce.” He said it softly, but still loud enough for the Batman to hear. He didn’t want to talk about this either because he knew he was treading on thin ice.

“Why do you always bring her up when we work together? Why do you think I always have to go back to her – like she controls me? She’s my coworker, I respect her. But still. She’s not my boss.” Clark took a stand beside Bruce and began to survey the area with his X-Ray vision, he waited a few minutes for a response and only got a sad sigh. “It’s cold, maybe we should go back.”

The December air brushed against Bruce’s face – the parts that were exposed. He didn’t feel a bit chilled, this suit wasn’t good against the elements unlike his others, and he wasn’t immune too hot or cold. He groaned, feeling his muscles ache as he stood up straight. The vigilante stepped away from Superman and prepared his Batwing to come pick him up.

“Someone’s calling for help,” Bruce sighed. ‘ _Goddamned Supersonic Hearing_!’ “I got this you go – “Clark turned around, his face flushed with a bit of anger as he saw Bruce already gone. “Home…”  He sighed, rubbing his head. He hates it when he the Bat did that to him. Flying off he raced towards the cries for help.

++

“Well! Look at what the super-villains dragged in! A pretty little kitty! Aren’t you cute?!” A loud hiss came from the tangled Catwoman who was being hung from the ceiling. “We have some beef to deal with you, Cat-Witch!” Two-Face clapped his hand as the others began laughing, Catwoman was hissing and trying to get herself free.

“Aw, uncomfortable?” Two-Face chuckled, the cat-lover’s eyes shifted within the ropes. A bottomless pit of acid was underneath her. “Good! We want you to die the most painful death possible! But – given you are on a trial… Of course…” his lips smirked, what kind of cruel, sick joke was this?

A man with a black mask – ironically known as Black Mask started laughing. “I like this show you’ve put on Harvey. Very sinister. Tell me, how does it work again?” He stepped forward getting a better look at Catwoman who hissed, Black Mask mockingly put his hands in front of his face – giggled darkly. “She doesn’t seem too happy. I don’t think she’s comfortable enough. Will you do the honors! Mr. Dent?”

“Certainly. Wilson – tighten the ropes!” As Slade Wilson began cranking the ropes she felt her body constrict and it beginning to become harder to breathe. She choked. “I think that’s good enough, why don’t I explain the rules?”

They all made sounds of agreement. Catwoman groaned. “This is a trail people! You all submit your testimonies just like every other court – tell the judge – me…” He said darker than his usual tone. Like he was a big fish in a little pond. Catwoman laughed mentally. “And I will declare the form of punishment, but no matter what – this woman – will face death tonight! Are we good on that?”

They all cheered, laughed and clapped. Black Mask then interjected. “I do say I haven’t had this sort of meeting before, but it’s worth a shot. It could be… Fun… Dent, you don’t think Batman is going to be here, do you?”

Their eyes all laid on Two-Face. Catwoman’s eyes lit up. This could get interesting. Her savior, here? “No no! Nothing to worry about. Bat’s city is overflowing with an infection right now, if anything he should be worried for his own ass and not ours.”

“Still, it shouldn’t be too bad to keep a few extra hands outside waiting, The Bat’s unpredictable.” Slade noted, a few were nodding their heads.

“What’s this infection anyway? Do you think it could come to Arkham?” Cobblepot smashed his cane against the ground while chewing on a fish. The old mafia boss looked worried. “I don’t want to get sick right before my Christmas party happens – last time that happened we had to cancel the whole shebang!”

“Because you got sick?” Poison Ivy raised a brow. “Isn’t that a little much? Couldn’t you just wear a mask or something?”

 “Are you kiddin? Not just me, but several of us to. Even the kitchen staff got infected with some sort of crazy virus. I don’t know what it was but it was deadly. Had to hire whole new staff for the following year’s Spring Get Together.”

“You hold parties? Why can’t I come?” Slade pouted, knowing he was a good body guard and all to people who hire him, he looked down at his drink and took another sip.

“Because you damn killed some of my best body guards when you were working for Mooney! That’s why you damn brat!” A bit of clapping interrupted their squabble.

“Alright! New plan! Wilson – go guard us, you can be the bailiff for all I care. Just make sure Batman doesn’t get in. Black Mask, you happy?” He sighed rubbing his forehead. Will these villains ever act like grownups for once? It’s almost Christmas!

Both Black Mask and Slade shrugged at the same time. “Sounds alright to me.”

“Now you’ve been a really – really annoying thorn in my side Cat-Bitch…”

“Trust me, it’s not that hard, Harvey. A few of my own rats are on the case right now~” Catwoman purred, licking her lips as she looked at the crowd of Neanderthals. “Honestly you Neanderthals are so easy to piss off. You would’ve thought those who call yourselves villains would have some sort of interesting trick up your sleeves? Even when I did work alongside you lot, I was never interested, got bored and decided to walk my own walk…” She yawned. “Now, let’s get this over with- “

“Enough!” Dent yelled as he began to lower the ropes, Catwoman grunted. “Enough of you! I’ve had just enough of you foiling my plans!” The Catwoman hissed as the bubbles from the acid tank began to sting her costume.

The others jumped back. “Now, let’s – yes. Get this over with, shall we?”

Meanwhile Batman was sure he’d lost Superman by now, hoping across buildings and making his way to way back to Gotham. When he heard some bickering outside an abandoned warehouse – he saw familiar faces. Penguin Cobblepot and Slade Wilson. He huffed. What a surprise. He could just either A: swing in and attack their men that were with them, interrogate them, but that would prove to be a hassle as Slade was actually a fighter compared to Cobblepot… There could be more inside the warehouse – some sort of villain meeting, perhaps?

So, he went with plan B, stealth. He was tired anyway, the cold air proving to be a hassle when he sore to the top of the building and kicked off the hatch to get inside – he was thankful that the villains were all warm and cozy and had lit a fire. Then, he noticed the stinky smell of acid. The all too familiar stench burned his nose. He then eyed Catwoman being dangled above the acid pot – she eyed him – he tried ducking back so no one else could notice. Sighing, he readied his gauntlet. This was going to be a long night.

Superman had just gotten done assisting a young woman from a bunch of gangsters. The police had briefed him on the situation telling him that they could use him in Akrham more often, but he was really just looking for Batman’s comrade, Nightwing. Now, he has to find Batman. He sighed, wondering where the vigilante could have run off to. After he heard an explosion in the distance alert his supersonic hearing – he knew exactly where to go.

‘ _Please be okay, Bruce_.’ He had a bad pit forming in his stomach, but he trekked on anyway. He began to fly as fast as he could and soon he was outside a warehouse where the door was open. Upon further inspection the building had a hatch on the ceiling where that too had been damaged, indicating that Bruce was there. He sighed, preparing for whatever was in store.

He examined the building with his X-Ray vision and the Kryptonian gasped noticing that The Joker was there – ready to stab Bruce from behind but neither Catwoman nor Batman noticed. “Batman!” He came in full speed ahead. He whacked the Joker out cold, the others gasped. “It’s Superman – shit! Like this couldn’t get any worse!”

“Cla- Superman. You didn’t kill him, did you?” Bruce was clutching his stomach in pain as he wobbled over to the man in tights. “I swear if you did- “Clark was bent over The Joker, nodding. “Good.” Bruce looked to the rest of them. “You don’t mind if I take this moron in do you? He did crash your party after all.”

The others nodded. Cobblepot shook his cane. “Do what you want with him, lock him in the deepest parts of Arkham for all I care!”

“Then I suggest you run. You have a five-minute head-start.”

“Batman – “

“Not now, Superman. I’m bleeding internally and I suggest you give me a hand before I pass out. We don’t have time to deal with all of them, not tonight. Just him. That’s what matters.” He huffed and doubled over into Clark’s arms. Catwoman meowed. “You should leave to; we don’t need your help.”

“You needed my help earlier. You look so cute when your Knight in Shining Armor comes to rescue you, y’know.” She purred licking her lips as she began to walk off, her hips swaying suggestively. Bruce grunted as Clark helped him sit down, most of them were already gone. “Oh and Batman – “

“Yeah?” He really wanted her gone, Clark’s hand on his abdomen, breathing and making sure that he wasn’t passing out. “Fuck – Superman…”

“Thanks. You really do look cute together.” When Batman growled and Superman blushed – he looked up to say something – Catwoman was gone. The police were on their way.

“I alerted the authorities. There was a woman almost caught in a gang-rape but I stopped it.” He cooed Bruce as he laid his head in Clark’s chest. “Easy, easy.” There’s no point in resisting now. Catwoman already said it. “About what Catwoman said – “

“Never mention it to anyone ever again. It doesn’t leave this room.” He was thankful that Joker was out cold. He looked over at the painted-man’s body and saw him slowly breathing, his chest rising. Bruce groaned. “I want to interrogate him. I was planning on taking him back to the mansion…” He hissed, the pain furthering.

“We can interrogate him later when he’s back in Arkham Asylum…”

“Me. No we. No you or I. Just me.” He snarled trying to lift himself up from Clark’s lap. “Stop looking at me like a lost puppy, Kent and get me out of here. You know I don’t need to stick around for the cops. They hate me.” Clark opened his mouth to protest but when he saw Bruce struggling – grabbing at his lower belly – he sighed.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll help you.” He gave a faint smile. At least he can this time.

But when Bruce glared back over to him every second or two – that smile quickly faded. He didn’t let his feelings be aware. He couldn’t let Bruce know that he was being pitied. Clark still though, was glad he could help.

“See you later, Bruce.” He saw the Batwing take off and the sun began to rise in Arkham. He felt the wind brush against his cape, hoping his best friend would be alright throughout the morning.

And best of all, he still didn’t stop smiling.


End file.
